I Didn't Know...

I am a planner.  I pretty much research the heck out of anything:  new restaurant, vacations, houses, and certainly having kids.  By the time my first child arrived I had read about 30 books and countless blogs, taken classes, quizzed friends and family, and purchased size 3T Winter clothes.  That's just how I roll!  So, imagine my surprise that I am continually, well, surprised by this whole motherhood thing.  Here are some things that I didn't know:

Breastfeeding hurts.  A lot.  A lot, lot.  And yet, most of us who try it end up loving it.  I'm not sure what that says about us.

When you finally get a night out with the hubby and friends, chances are you will find yourself discussing your baby's poo like it is the most interesting (and appropriate) dinner conversation ever.  This will continue for years.  Moms are poo-obsessed.

You will refer to yourself in the third person.  You will also call your husband Daddy (and not in a fun way).

At some point you will be, um, indisposed, and both of your children will simultaneously have some sort of crisis on opposite ends of the house.  Breathe deeply, and think "This will make a really funny story to tell my friends."

Good neighbors are golden.  If you have bad neighbors, then move.  It is that important.  Family is great, but they are not next door.  If they are, then you are either the luckiest or unluckiest mommy in the world.

There will be times when you will be shocked by the anger and frustration you feel towards your children.  There will be times when you will be equally as shocked by the fierceness of your love for your children.

Yelling pretty much never works.  And yet, 99% of us do it.

You should always have snacks with you, but don't bring them out until you really need them.  Nothing quells a tantrum quite like a full mouth. 

You will simultaneously doubt every decision you make and also think that the world would be a better place if everyone just listened to you. 

You will jerk awake in the middle of the night with visions of terrible tragedies befalling your children.

You will fight and plead a pray for them to just go to sleep only to sneak in when they do so that you can watch them sleeping and pet their precious heads. 

Every day will be completely exhausting in some way.  Every single day. 

You will become a cryer.  News stories of both good and bad things happening to children will especially get you going but it can really be anything.  A well-scripted AT&T commercial, a friend's photo of a motorcycle escort for a fallen soldier, a homeless person on the side of the road.  All of these things have brought out the waterworks for me in the past few days alone. 

Basically what I am saying is that motherhood is full of ambivalence.  And that it makes you completely insane!  But, then again, I'm probably preaching to the choir here.

Mall play

Truly, a most excellent idea when you're out of other options on a still-Winter morning. There are a few tips though, which I think can make the difference between good times in the world of commerce and a super-sized nightmare:

1) Go with a buddy. Trust me, some of the kids (and moms) at the mall are straight from Wal-Mart and you will need an ally to herd kids, confront bullies, and provide you a little friend time as well. Plus, if you're like me, you'll have at least one "zone out" moment and if the friend is good, she just might save your kiddos from disaster while you are contemplating wedges or pumps...or the meaning of life or something.

2) Do NOT bring snacks. Repeat DO NOT. Your kids won't play, they will just treat it as a buffet and every other kid in the place will want one too. Pretty soon, you will feel like you are feeding a herd of pigeons.

3) Sit near the entrance. Kids try to escape and it's better to be closer to the opening of the "pen." Not only can you better catch your own kids, but others as well, earning you appreciation and admiration from the masses, something every mommy craves and deserves!

4) Bring extra wipes and do not let those kids take off their socks 'cuz...eeeewwww! Seriously, I have seen a kid (thankfully not my own) pick a random booger off of the ground and put it into his mouth. I apologize, but you need to know the dirty truth. Don't avoid the place because of the germ factor, but be aware, very aware.

Slow Cooked Chicken Noodle Soup (aka The Only Soup My Daughter Will Eat)

I used to buy a whole chicken, roast it, pick it, then boil the bones with herbs and veggies, to make my own stock. It was a 24 hour + job. Then, I got smart and cut out a couple of steps and several hours. I start with a very small (1-1 1/2 pounds) free-range, local chicken. I remove the skin and yucky fatty bits (this makes me feel better about being to lazy to skim the fat after the fact). Of course, it changes a bit every time but here's the basic story. 1 small free range, local chicken 2-3 T olive oil Salt, pepper, herbs de provence to taste 1 large onion chopped 2-3 cloves garlic, minced, 3-4 medium carrots, diced 1 bay leaf 1/2 lemon 1 can petite diced tomatoes 6 cups water 1/2 Cup frozen corn Minced fresh parsley 6-8 ounces alphabet (or other small) noodles, cooked separately Rinse chicken and pat dry. Remove as much of the skin and fat as possible. Preheat large cast-iron our enamel oven-safe soup/casserole pot with olive oil. Season chicken liberally and sear in very hot pot, turning once until chicken has a nice crust on it. Add all other ingredients except corn and parsley. Cover and cook on medium low on stove top or at 250 in oven for 2-3 hours, until chicken is falling off the bone. Remove chicken, bay leaf and lemon. Pick meat off of chicken and return to pot with corn. Cook a few more minutes until soup is heated through. Stir in noodles individually into bowls and top with parsley. Yummy yum, homemade soup with fresh stock in a fraction of the time!

Secret Gem at the Farmer's Market!

On the other side of the parking lot from our local farmer's market is a "demonstration garden." I have always meant to check it out and this morning I finally did (with sick kiddos in tow). IT WAS AMAZING!!! Like walking into a little piece of The Secret Garden. A wonderful man greeted us, showed us all of the plants, let my daughter touch, smell, pick and taste things, and shared with us some organic gardening secrets. They grow tons of fresh produce and herbs, which they donate to a local shelter. There were gorgeous flowes, tiny wooden bridges and a soon-to-be children's garden complete with a teepee made of sweet pea vines. The master gardener also said that in about a month the garden will be covered in butterflies. The highlight for my child...drinking a glass of cold, clear water straight from the hose! What a wonderful, and free, treat on what was turning into a pretty crummy day. If you live anywhere near Norman you have to check this place out! If you don't, be sure to check out your local farmers' market, you really never know what treasures are hiding there.