Wednesday, September 14, 2011

My Alternate Reality

Most of the time I am your typical suburban housewife, and proud of it.  But, in the essence of keeping my options open (and making a little cash) I spend a couple of nights or weekend days a week working the reference desk at a public library.  It's an interesting roller-coaster of a job that I mostly love but there are certain special circumstances and encounters that I believe can only come from working at a public service desk.  Particularly if you are a young woman who doesn't exactly fit the "librarian" bun-wearing stereotype.  Most of us don't anymore by the way.  So, for your reading pleasure I thought I would share some of the stranger things that have been said to me over the years.

"How much do the books cost here?"

"Do you have How to Kill a Mockingbird?  The movie."

"You're a right handy ol' gal.  You'll make someone a fine lil' wife someday."

"So, do you like, read and stuff?"

"Do you have any good Christian horror fiction?"

"Can you believe my son/daughter has this project during football/basketball/soccer season?!?"

"Can you tell me what to fill out on my tax forms?"  Me: "No, I'm sorry we cannot give tax advice."  Patron: "I'm not asking for advice, I just want you to tell me what to put on my forms!"

From a 13-year old  "Maybe you and I could go get coffee sometime."

"I need to visit my brother in jail, but first I want to check and see if I have any outstanding warrants.  Can you show me how to do that?"

"It's been a cold weekend, but I feel warm now that I've seen you again."

"I would like to know why the library has an anti-Jesus policy."

From the security office after closing time "Did you happen to see a Gatorade bottle with some leaves in it while you were cleaning up?  Guy here says he left his frog."

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