Diva Days

Every February, my daughter and I end up attending multiple tea parties, brunches, and other very "fancy" events.   It just works out that way.

For one thing, it is black history month and that is marked at our library in a very special way.  Several years ago, some very creative people (men, if you can believe it) published a book called Crowns: Portraits of Black Women in Church Hats.  I know, it sounds silly but it really is exactly that, a beautiful book with beautiful pictures that is a true celebration of womanhood and the tradition of bringing out your "Sunday best" for church.  For the record, I know that God does not care what you are wearing when you come to His house, but you have to admit, there is something special and reverent about putting on your best for this special day.  It really brings back the celebratory nature of Sundays as being truly days devoted to church and family.  Goodness gracious, I can get on a tangent.

So back to my point, there are several wonderful libraries in my area (and I'm completely objective, don't you know) and two of them do absolutely amazing events based on this lovely little book.  The first is the Gospel Brunch at the Moore Public Library.  It's a celebration of the gospel tradition capped by an amazing performance by Christopher Jones, a man who is a beautiful singer and an encyclopedia on the tradition of black gospel music.  And of course, it is full of lovely ladies in lovely church attire.  I've been taking my daughter since she was in a carrier and she has always enjoyed it.  It is a happy, clappin' and amen-ing type of occasion.  Who doesn't enjoy a fancy brunch every once in a while?

Next week we will attend my favorite library event of the entire year, the Crown's Tea.  Again, it is inspired by the book.  Have you ever looked at those crazy hat pictures of mine and wondered "What is with that woman and that big purple hat?"  Well, this is it.  The Crown's Tea.  It is a sea of lovely ladies dressed to the nines.  I mean, you've gotta go at least once just to see all those hats.  Big hats and small hats, sparkly hats and flowery hats, feathers, veils, brims, hats that are like nothing you've ever seen or imagined before.  You think those Royal Wedding gals have some crazy hats?  You haven't seen anything until you attend the Crown's Tea.  Seriously, it should be on every woman's bucket list.  Yes, I am a bit evangelical about this event.  But so are a lot of other people, judging from how hard it is to get a ticket to this thing sometimes.

So, add to these two amazing programs, the Daddy Daughter Dance, and the Fancy Nancy Tea Party and you can believe that by March 1 my daughter is going to be one spoiled little diva.  I think we are going to have to spend Spring Break dragging her back to reality!  Maybe a laundry tutorial?

Book Review: Out Stealing Horses by Per Petterson

I'm a bit behind on my book reviews, so you may see a few of these in a row!

This was my October book club pick at the library.  It was unlike anything that I was expecting.  It is the story of Trond Sander and one desperate, enlightening, fantastic, coming-of-age summer in a cabin on a river with his dad.

As the story begins, an aging Trond has moved to a small cabin in a rural Norwegian village.  His goal is to live his last years in peace and isolation.  However, the cabin, its surroundings, and the inhabitants of the village bring back strong memories of his last summer with his father.  The story flows back and forth between the 67 year-old hermit-like Trond and the 15 year-old boy who was fascinated with his enigmatic father and the secrets that defined him.  Over the course of one summer, life changes dramatically for Trond.  It is this summer that becomes the dividing point between child and man and it is this summer in which Trond seems to be forever trapped.

This is not an action-packed, page turner type book.  It is densely written and contemplative.  I did find it very interesting, at times amusing and at times sorrowful.  The setting and imagery are beautifully told and it relates a little-known aspect of World War II history.  Sometime in the upcoming winter, when the wind is howling and a fire is burning, curl up with a cup of tea and head to Norway to go "out stealing horses."

Sculpture Walk

The weather this week has been so lovely that I really wanted to do something fun outside.  We are lucky enough to live very close to an awesome and beautiful university campus, the University of Oklahoma.  For those of you not in Oklahoma, you may be used to hearing the word "football" after that particular title but I assure you that there is a lot of other great stuff about OU, which is saying a lot considering I am an alum of Oklahoma State University!

Annnnnyyyyway, one of my favorite things about OU is the amazing public art, including a huge variety of sculptures, intricate gardens, fountains, ect.  Some of it is beautiful in that classical sense.  Some of it is very modern and abstract.  Some of it is even controversial, but the mix is what makes it all the more interesting.  So I gathered up cameras, snacks, friends, and off we headed for our very own self-guided "sculpture tour."  We started with the ballerina sculpture, 'cuz we had two four year old princesses in tow!  Pirouette, girls, pirouette!

Next up, we headed down the road to check out a sculpture of a Native American woman, then did a tour of the rose garden outside of the library.  Of course, we couldn't just go past the library!  Ahhhh, the lovely smell of books, books, books!  Nerd, you say?  Yeah, I came to grips with that long ago.  The "old section" of Bizzell Library is, in my opinion, the most beautiful building on campus.  There's all sorts of crazy stuff going on with that building; it's a work of art itself!  We visited with my former professor/boss from when I was in library school (yes, there is such thing) and then headed back out to explore.

Peek a Boo!

All in all, we probably ran across about 20 sculptures and hidden little gardens, not to mention just checking out the cool architecture.  The kids ran around outside and see some cool stuff, the mommies strolled and chatted (with a bit of kiddo chasing thrown in) and we all had a fun time.  This is one activity that is definitely going into the regular rotation!

Book Review: The School of Essential Ingredients by Erica Bauermeister

This is our book club selection for the month.  It was a tasty little treat of a book, much needed after reading some heavier things lately.  Some books I refer to as "palate cleansers."  Basically, lighthearted, fun books to clear the head (often these are romance novels...shhhh).  This book would fit into that category and I wouldn't even be ashamed to carry it into the doctor's office!

Lillian has a gift and, as often happens, she discovers this gift under tragic circumstances.  When Lillian is seven, her father abandons them and her mother sinks into a deep depression.  Lillian begins experimenting with food and discovers that she has the ability to create powerful emotions and memories with her delicious recipes.  With the help of a local shop owner and food mentor, Abuelita, Lillian finally succeeds in "waking her mother" from her depressive stupor.

Fast forward a few decades and Lillian is a successful restaurateur and chef.  Her true passion though, is teaching her Monday night cooking classes.  As the class assembles, we meet a variety of characters, each dealing with some individual pain or inner conflict.  In each class, a dish is created that speaks to one individual student, creating clearness where there was confusion or closure where there was sadness.  The multiple points of view allow the reader to get to know each character and their story, all woven around the frame of that Monday night's recipe.

In Lillian's world, food is life.   It is luscious, exciting, and magical.  This book is engaging, with likeably flawed characters and delicious imagery.  It will make you happy (and maybe hungry) to read it.  I can't wait to hear what my book club ladies have to say about it on Thursday!

Boys Will Be....

Randomly it seems, I have had several conversations recently with parents both young and old on boys and their inherent "boyishness."  That uncanny, seemingly-uncontrollable need to play video games, shoot things, push, yell, destroy, etc.  I have seen it already in my own sweet boy.  One minute every thing's hunky-dory, the next minute he is running wildly down the hall with a chunk of his sister's hair.  He is not allowed within ten feet of a library book lest we find bits of paper scattered throughout the house.  He luckily has not discovered guns yet in any form, but I know he will and I am already dreading it.

Here's a story from my retired neighbor:  his sister is a Quaker and worked very hard to keep guns and violent images/play away from  her son.  The son made guns from sticks and his own hand, loving to play "shoot the bad guy."  This son is now a Navy Seal, a "professional warrior" the neighbor called him.  Now, that is a pretty admirable job, protecting our freedom and all, but how did he get from Quaker to Navy Seal, one wonders?

Yesterday at the library two pre-school aged boys were playing guns with a couple of the arch blocks the library had.  They were running, screaming, rolling over tables and ducking for cover behind the "nursing mamas" rocking chairs.  Finally one ran up to my sensitive girl (who had been carefully constructing her princess castle), took his "gun" and smashed princess-land to smithereens.  I sat bolt upright in my chair, unsure as to what my role should be.  My daughter hung her head for a few seconds, then silently ran into my lap to "cry it out."  Luckily for me, one of the lovely children's librarians had seen enough and rushed over to scold both boys and mamas.  One mom made her son apologize and they left soon after.  My daughter got over her trauma and rebuilt her castle.  Still, the whole incident left me wondering:  were these "bad" boys, or were these just boys?

This is an issue that I truly struggle with.  I don't want to raise a violent boy.  On the other hand, I want to raise a strong boy, an assertive boy.  I want both of my children to know how to change the oil in their car,  cook a souffle, and defend themselves if needed.  More than anything, I want them to be their own selves, but of course, the best version of themselves.  I guess, like most moms, I just want it all.  That's not too much to ask, right?  I'm just not quite sure yet how to walk that line.  How to encourage their natural likes and strengths without raising a child who will one day make another child cry.

This is not intended to be a commentary on the "gun" issue.  Maybe I will curse you with my ambivalence on that particular subject another day.  I am just wondering how it is that one raises a "good" boy, a good man?  A man's man and yet a modern man.  A man who can protect himself and his family from an assailant or a dishwasher disaster.  A man who can cook an omelet and sing a soothing lullaby.  It occurs to me that my own husband has many of these qualities.  Hopefully that will at least give us some advantage.  Of course, as I am writing this, my son is pushing his sister and making her cry, so that's all for now!

My Alternate Reality

Most of the time I am your typical suburban housewife, and proud of it.  But, in the essence of keeping my options open (and making a little cash) I spend a couple of nights or weekend days a week working the reference desk at a public library.  It's an interesting roller-coaster of a job that I mostly love but there are certain special circumstances and encounters that I believe can only come from working at a public service desk.  Particularly if you are a young woman who doesn't exactly fit the "librarian" bun-wearing stereotype.  Most of us don't anymore by the way.  So, for your reading pleasure I thought I would share some of the stranger things that have been said to me over the years.

"How much do the books cost here?"

"Do you have How to Kill a Mockingbird?  The movie."

"You're a right handy ol' gal.  You'll make someone a fine lil' wife someday."

"So, do you like, read and stuff?"

"Do you have any good Christian horror fiction?"

"Can you believe my son/daughter has this project during football/basketball/soccer season?!?"

"Can you tell me what to fill out on my tax forms?"  Me: "No, I'm sorry we cannot give tax advice."  Patron: "I'm not asking for advice, I just want you to tell me what to put on my forms!"

From a 13-year old  "Maybe you and I could go get coffee sometime."

"I need to visit my brother in jail, but first I want to check and see if I have any outstanding warrants.  Can you show me how to do that?"

"It's been a cold weekend, but I feel warm now that I've seen you again."

"I would like to know why the library has an anti-Jesus policy."

From the security office after closing time "Did you happen to see a Gatorade bottle with some leaves in it while you were cleaning up?  Guy here says he left his frog."

And the award goes to....

...Readers!  Yes, it is summer reading time at the library.  My kids have participated since they were babies and it is always a treat to see them at their "ceremony."

At our library, rather than choosing X number of book to read, you are asked to commit to reading for at least ten minutes a day.  Then you get a reading log and a sheet of stickers, the stickers representing a day's reading.  Of course, our stickers had to go into one of the special cabinets high, high up or they would have ended up on the floor, the brother, the toilet, you name it, on the very first day.  So periodically throughout the summer I have retrieved the reading log and stickers from their hide-y hole and estimated the number of stickers the kids get to put on.  It was pretty funny watching my determined daughter carefully select just the right little bubble to place her sticker while my son kept getting his stuck to the table or his fingers.  Last week I was heading to the library where I work and decided it was time to "complete" summer reading.  So I got out the logs and let the kiddos have at it attaching the remaining stickers to the remaining bubbles.  We were curiously short a few stickers but oh well.  And no, I have not been counting the number of minutes we have read each day.  They're two and three, we read every day, enough said!

So off to the library we go!  They each handed the librarian their little reading logs and stood proudly (and maybe a little confusedly) as she played the special music and announced to the building that they had "succeeded" in completing their reading goal.  Then, it was the receiving of medals with the entire library cheering.  Over the top?  Absolutely!  But to see the look on their faces as they get their medals is priceless.

I am not one of those people who thinks we should coddle our children or have them exist in a world where they get a trophy just for showing up.  But the library, well that's a different kind of place.  A place where you should be welcomed with a smile and allowed to be your own individual.  Where it is important to read what you choose.  I love that there is a place that rewards children just for showing up, for trying and finishing something they started.  There are no tests, no points, no value added to particular selections, just a congratulations on finishing what you started.  I think it lays a good foundation for the later years, start small and build up!

Surprise at the Library

I know, I know, I'm constantly waxing on about the wonders of the public library!  Here's what I love, within 20 minutes of my house my kids have THREE great public libraries.  Each one is unique and has different strengths (and a few weaknesses).  So, last week we decided to go the the "little library" in a small town to the South of us.  A former co-worker of mine was going to do a "learn Spanish story time" and I thought this would be great fun.  I even talked one of my mommy friends into making a caravan with me.

Well, as life often goes, the plans were changed at the last minute.  The "knows Spanish" librarian ended up being sick that day, leaving a "does not know Spanish" librarian in charge of story time.  But this crafty librarian had a few tricks up her sleeve.  She called the chief of police, who called the fire department, and the EMT's.  So, instead of learning Spanish, we had stories read to us by the police chief and the fire captain!  They read, of course, stories about police officers and fire fighters.  They told us a little about their jobs, and then....AND THEN...we went outside where they had a police car, a fire truck, and an ambulance!!!  The kids had fun crawling all over the vehicles and touching the tools and gadgets.  Well, except my daughter, who put her complimentary coloring book over her head and complained that it was too hot (she WAS right, but still).  It was a "happy accident" to quote the great Bob Ross.

I think it is very important that children see emergency responders as friendly, approachable people and this was a great opportunity to meet them up close, see all of their cool gadgets, and thank them for the services that they do in our communities.  Yet another fun, free, and educational outing at the library!

Check out www.justsoyouknow.us if you are interested in learning more about the Pioneer Library System and all of the fun activities they have for all ages.

Summer Time is Library Time

Yes, I know that there are a lot (a lot, a lot, a lot) of fun things to do during the summer...not to mention the mandatory do-nothing time!  But, do not forget your local library.  Chance are, you grew up doing summer reading at your local library.  Well, we are still going strong!

This morning we went to the annual kick-off parade at one of our nearby hometown library.  We have gone every year since my daughter was born and every year I am amazed by the excitement, the creativity, and the FUN of these librarians.  What child does not want to be part of a parade?  Incidentally, hauling a wagon with 70lbs of children is a pretty good calf work-out as well!  After the parade, it was inside for henna tattoos, fan making, snow cones, Native American dancing, and sign-up time.  The theme this year is One World, Many Stories.  Your local library should have lots and lots of fun and (shhh...) educational activities for kids all summer long.  If it doesn't, you might want to ask why.  Start with your librarian and move you way up to your legislator.  And if you do like your library, then GO!  Libraries receive part of their funding based on things like door counts and "stats."  That is what tell the decision-makers that their money is being used and appreciated, and maybe they should send even more!

Waiting for Fancy Dancing

Here is an incomplete list of some of the fun things we have done at our local libraries:  Philharmonic string quartet, bug festival, music education classes, magician shows, trick roping, science experiments, craft time, story time, tea parties, cello story time, and the petting, exploring, touching, and learning about many, many wild and unusual animals.  And that is just what ONE library does for children.  They also have great programs for teens and adults, even services for home-bound residents.

So, that's my advocacy for the day.  Go to your library.  Sign up for summer reading.  Find fun and free ways to keep your child entertained and educated until school starts again!

Fancy Fun!

Last night our local library hosted a Fancy Nancy Tea Party.  For the occasion, my daughter donned her Fancy Nancy dress, her pink feather boa, her tiara, her "magic" wand, and about a dozen butterfly clips.  We clearly were not going to miss an opportunity to over-accessorize!  Oh, and did I mention Frenchy the dog?  And the ruffly socks?  And the sparkly shoes?  So, or course, the first thing we had to do when we arrived was hit the dress-up area, just to make sure we had enough "stuff" draped over us!

Then, it was time to sample some delectable (that's a fancy word for yummy), tea sandwiches.  A little coloring, a sip of juice in a princess cup (pinky raised of course), and it was time for dancing with a REAL ballerina!

I'm not sure if she's having a good time, what do you think?  Finally, it was off to make a ribbon tiara and a ring.  'Cuz we didn't have enough accessories, don't you know!  Overall, I think she would rate the event spectacular (that's a fancy word for really, really, really good)/

I love my library!

Cockroaches, butterflys, dragonflys, oh my!

Bug Fest at the Norman Public Library! Holy six-legged, chaotic fun!!! My daughter made a butterfly from a coffee filter, a "book worm" bookmark, an abstract maggot painting (don't ask), got her face painted, and petted the most gigantic bug I've ever seen. My son squirmed, tried to escape, ate a fried meal worm (how's that for a double entendre), and tried to escape some more. I've decided he's at a very inconvenient age: too big to hang happily in a stroller or carrier, too small and wild to really be let loose. Nonetheless, it was such an amazing and fun event. We followed it up with our delayed park picnic play date. My kids' favorite park is conveniently right next to a very busy train track, so it is noisy double-fun. So happy for a day of fun, free, nap-inducing activities ('cuz you know I like someplace to go)!

Go Mommy Go - on the cheap!

It sometimes seems to me like SAHMs do just that...stay home! I understand (believe me) how difficult it is to get yourself and multiple small children dressed, pottied, fed, and out the door. Sometimes I feel like just staying home too, but I always regret it. Cabin fever quickly sets in with my 90 mph 2 year old and with myself as well. If you ask me, hiding in the house is a sure recipe for both mommy and baby meltdowns. Hence the Go Mommy Go! In an effort to give you some ideas on the cheap, here a my top 5 child-friendly, FREE outings: 1. Library, library, library! Big surprise coming from a librarian huh? Seriously though, the library is a mommy's (and a community's) best friend. My library in particular does something for children every day, and I mean every day! Crafts, story times, therapy dogs, mommy and toddler aerobics and music classes, you name it. I understand that some libraries do not host this many activities and if yours doesn't, ask them why. You might show them an under-served population they haven't considered before. Also, there is always a fellow mommy in the children's area desperate for a play date for herself and her children...bonus! 2. Playgrounds. If you're local to Norman, stay tuned as I like to "review" the many options in this town. Playgrounds and local parks are cheap (as in free) and you can visit all the ones in your area, so it's like a new trip all of the time. Especially fun in the fall when your toddler will love cavorting in the falling leaves. I'm also discovering indoor playgrounds in unexpected areas, like those humongo churches (also free and open to the public) and of course the local mall if you can take the cooties (I typically decide I CAN around mid-January). In my town there is even a great play center at the local car dealership, although I suspect it's a trap. 3. Ponds. Found in many subdevelopments, parks, and college campuses these are treasure troves of ducks, cat-tails, algae, and other such strange and fascinating goodies for toddlers. Pack a loaf of bread for ducks and geese, or for yourself if your feeling snacky! Warning: geese are often larger and more aggressive than the average 3 year old, tread lightly and when charged, toss the bread and run! Speaking of college campuses, they are also mine-fields of public art, some of it really fun and climb-able and a great way to introduce your kiddo to "culture." 4. Pet stores. I know this one sounds crazy but for a 2 year old, this can be as good as the zoo and usually requires much less travel, money, and planning. Seriously, these places now days have tank after tank of colorful fish, froggies, snakes, kitty cats, a menagerie of animals all waiting to be visited. They don't charge admission and if you happen to need dog food, you can chalk it up to two activities at once! 5. Farmer's Markets. In my town this is very seasonal, but still an option for 6 months out of the year. There are almost too many benefits of this one to list. Yes, it's not free if you buy something but you would be surprised about the selection and value of foods you buy at the grocery store anyway. You are supporting your local economy, teaching your children about healthy eating habits, learning about what your area has to offer from potatos to soaps, flowers, and flour. And you're showing your children a lifestyle and a people that sadly probably won't be around for much longer. My daughter loves to look at all of the vegetables and wave to the farmers. Children can really learn about where their food comes from and find more of a connection to it. Plus, those farmers love little ones! Don't be surprised if you come away from there with a free tomato or mini pumpkin :>) Those are my tips for the day. I realize that many of them require being outdoors and that winter is descending upon us. Stay tuned for tips on keeping kiddos happy and yourself sane during the not so sunny months. Maybe we should write to Starbucks about indoor play areas!