I promise I went into parenthood with my eyes wide open. I planned my children. I had friends with children. I took a class on caring for children. Still, nothing prepared me for actually having children. In my house. Every single day! Sometimes the things that come out of my mouth are pretty silly, or a little shocking. It truly is an adventure having to explain every single thing that I know about being a human to these creatures. It's not just the language, or how to use a potty, they truly are a blank slate and have to be told everything about what is and is not appropriate behavior. So, for your entertainment, here are a few of the strangest things I have had to say:
We do NOT drink from the doggie's bowl.
Give the princess shoes back to your brother, he was wearing them first!
Where are your listening ears?
Is that poo on your hand? Is it yours?
Stop licking your sister!
If you don't go to sleep, the magic fairies cannot come out to visit you.
You can't take off your shirt at the library/mall/grocery store.
Mickey Mouse always eats his sweet potatoes.
We only eat food. That mommy gives you. From the table!
I know you are a princess but you still have to pick up your room.
And finally, the ultimate mom-ism: Because I said so!!!